The question about staying on the Path came up in my mind quite a few times. I have been trying to find out what motivated me. Why did I start training all of a sudden? Why did I choose Martial Arts over any sports? Why have I been staying with my training for 30 years, and I still did not lose my interest? Why did I choose shakuhachi flute, one of the most difficult instruments in the World, and I have been studying it and practicing daily for over 10 years? I was talking about all the things I have been doing in my life in one of my previous episodes. People ask me, what helped me to stay consistent? I used to say, I did it because I liked it. But what made me like it? I had to study some things about motivation, about consistency, so I could at least explain it to other people. And perhaps, help somebody to make a decision. Yep, helping somebody is one of the points I will mention later today.

 

First of all, we need to remember, that we are dealing with a mindset. I've seen so many people trying to simplify their lives by dividing things into black and white. In reality, look at the Nature. How much black and white can you really see around? 

 

I can say the same about our thought process. We can define two extremes. I am talking about "I want to do" vs. "I have to do". I am not getting in a long philosophical discussions about needs, desires and suffering. No doubt, Zen monk will define totally different levels for those two extremes, comparing to myself. But like my Zen teacher said, "who is - I?"

There are plenty of wonderful recored lessons made by Zen teachers, you can find somebody competent in this area. And I am just sharing my Path. 

 

 

Today I’d like to talk about first steps I took on my Path to changing myself. Being an outcast is one thing. Getting out of it requires some steady efforts. But I think the most important is the very first step. What makes it so difficult?

 

First, Overcoming inertia? Yes. That very first effort to make the initial move can be extremely difficult. I think it came easy for me because the discomfort from being me was much greater than discomfort from changing. It was time to do it. I did not take time to procrastinate. My thought process switched instantly from total lack of interest to obsession with my training.

 

Second, perhaps fear of failure? Of course! Why would I believe I could achieve any degree of success in physical activity if I hated every second of it for as long as I remembered myself? It was later when I found out that every successful person has to go through certain number of failures. But at that time I did not know those details. Nobody told me. 

 

Third, Fear to be laughed at? No doubt about that. Of course, the whole World was gonna point fingers at me and laugh. My classmates already did. Besides, you know if you stick your head above the crowd, then get ready to receive a tomato. 

 

Any other reasons? Send me an email, let me know. We may discuss it next time.

 

Listen to the podcast to know more :)